How to Deal with Suicidal Thoughts While Pregnant​

Disclaimer: If you’re having extreme thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please seek help immediately. Reach out to someone you trust, go to your nearest emergency room, or contact 988 for free, confidential support that’s available 24/7.

Pregnancy is so often portrayed as a joyful time where women “glow” in anticipation of the life they’re creating. The truth is, though, emotional distress during pregnancy is more common than most people realize. If you’re struggling during your pregnancy, it’s really important to understand that what you’re feeling isn’t a sign of you being weak. Pregnant suicidal thoughts should be treated as a mental health crisis that deserves urgent care and attention.

It’s difficult to know for sure exactly how many women have these thoughts, since there’s limited research and many women don’t report their feelings out of shame, guilt, or fear. However, studies show suicidal thoughts and thoughts of self-harm among pregnant women almost tripled between 2006 and 2017. Some research suggests somewhere between 3 and 33% of women experience suicidal ideation during pregnancy. If you fall into this group, it’s crucial to know that help is available. You do not have to go through this alone. Read on to learn how to deal with suicidal thoughts while pregnant​. 

Why Suicidal Thoughts Can Happen During Pregnancy

There is no simple reason why some women experience pregnant suicidal thoughts​. The thing we do know is that self-harm attempts and suicide attempts, suicide ideation, and near misses are on the rise in pregnant women. 

Black women, women with past trauma, those with anxiety or depression, and low-income women have a significantly higher risk factor. In research, rates vary widely. Studies have found that between 4.6% and nearly 23% of low-income women experience suicidal ideation during pregnancy. Pregnant women with a history of depression are 13 times more likely to experience suicidal ideation. 

The causes linking pregnancy to suicidal thoughts vary. Yet, the risk is real, and understanding that can help make sense of what you’re going through. ​

“There are emotional pressures that make it difficult for pregnant people to ask for help when they’re struggling. Not specific to a gender because when a couple is expecting, they could feel the same stressors of potential parenthood and what that entails. Imagined fears and worries of an unpredictable future can increase based on the inability to plan for a stable life. Most may not ask for help because of the shame associated with these fears when they are told they ”should” be happy.”

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Hormonal and biological changes

It’s no secret that pregnancy is a time of extreme hormonal and biological shifts. Your body is working overtime. You’re supporting a growing life, which means everything from hormonal balance to biological changes is in flux. Estrogen and progesterone levels surge throughout pregnancy, and while this is necessary for your baby’s health, it can have a significant impact on your mood. 

Hormonal shifts you might notice:

• Mood swings
• Increased anxiety
• Symptoms of depression, like persistent sadness or loss of interest in daily activities
• Emotional sensitivity
• Increased irritability
• Anger or frustration 
• Difficulty concentrating (sometimes referred to as “pregnancy brain”)
• Feeling easily tearful

Biological changes that can occur:

• Fatigue
• Insomnia
• Changes in appetite 
• Nausea 
• Vomiting
• Headaches
• Breast tenderness
• Frequent urination
• Digestive changes, such as constipation, gas, or heartburn

Emotional and psychological factors

Being pregnant and feeling emotional go hand in hand for many women. One study found that nearly 10% of women feel depressed during their pregnancy. You might be worried about your baby’s health, how your body is changing, or what parenthood will mean for your life. Many expectant mothers stress about finances or how their relationships will change.  

If you’ve had a history of depression, anxiety, or another mental health condition, you may be even more prone to finding pregnancy emotionally and psychologically challenging. The truth is that pregnancy is a vulnerable time, but that doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone. It’s OK to ask for help, and there are resources available to support you. 

Societal and internal pressures

Society portrays pregnancy as a time of happiness and excitement. While this is true for many women, and it might be your reality at times, the depiction of what you should be feeling right now makes it even harder to admit when things are difficult. There’s pressure to be “normal,” which can make you worry about being judged, especially if you’re having suicidal thoughts during your pregnancy. The stigma is a powerful force that prevents many women from seeking critical help when it’s most needed.

Internalized pressures also increase the risk of suicidal thoughts when pregnant​. Factors like socioeconomic status, not having support, and witnessing or experiencing violence can understandably cause you to want to escape. 

What to Do if You’re Having Suicidal Thoughts

If you’re having thoughts of suicide when pregnant (or at any time), you must take action to keep yourself and your baby safe. There are several things you can do right now to get help.  

Prioritize safety first

Number one is focus on your safety. If you are in danger, seek help immediately. You can contact a mental health crisis line, your OB-GYN, or emergency services to get assistance. 

Resources if you’re having suicidal thoughts while pregnant:

• Callor text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: They have trained professionals available 24/7 to support you.
• Contact your OB-GYN.
• Call emergency services (911) if you feel you can’t keep yourself safe.
• Call Postpartum Support International (PSI) at 1-800-944-4773 to connect with someone who understands.

Tell someone you trust

Talking to your partner, a friend, a family member, or a trusted healthcare professional can make a powerful difference in your mental well-being while pregnant. 

They are there to listen, intervene, and give you extra help. They can also become a support system that helps you focus on your emotional state moving forward. Sharing your fears and feelings will help you feel less alone. It can open the door to support and ensure that others know where you are emotionally. 

If you don’t know what to say, try simple statements like:

• I’ve been really overwhelmed lately.
• I’m struggling with some dark thoughts—I could really use your support.
• Can you sit with me for a while?
• I don’t know how to navigate my feelings right now. 
• I feel so alone, and I could use someone to talk to. 
• I’m having a hard time—can you help me? 

“It is important to tell someone, even just one trusted person, what you’re feeling. When we speak our deepest feelings, it is an opportunity to give voice to what we have not shared. It is therapeutic to hear in our own words what we have been ashamed to speak. Once we listen to how we chose those words and match them with a feeling, the healing process can begin. We can listen to the response of a trusted friend once we have revealed what we thought needed to be hidden.”

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Contact your OB-GYN or mental health professional

Your OB-GYN is not only there to help with the physical parts of your pregnancy, they’re trained to help with mental well-being, too. They can screen you for perinatal mental health concerns and offer referrals so you can find the care you need. 

Don’t worry about being judged—your doctor is there to help. They are equipped with tools and resources to support you. 

Treatment Options for Mental Health Support During Pregnancy

You have several options for mental health support and treatment during your pregnancy. Most are drug-free, and all are safe for you and your baby. You don’t have to suffer in silence. The following are all excellent options if you’re pregnant and having suicidal thoughts​.

Therapy

Therapy is a powerful tool that can help you manage suicidal thoughts in pregnancy. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and interpersonal therapy (IPT) are both recognized and respected therapeutic techniques that are used for perinatal mental health. 

A therapist can help you process your emotions and get to the root of why you’re having suicidal thoughts in your pregnancy. They’ll help you build effective coping skills and support you during this challenging time.  

“Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is most helpful for suicidal ideation during pregnancy. In therapy, you learn to understand that the thoughts can be changed, which transmutes the emotional response, which augments the behavior. During pregnancy, when suicidal thoughts arise it is crucial to recognize, with therapy, that fear and worry can be transient in our life and that balance is achievable. Asking for help is crucial in acquiring your well-being.”

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Safe medication options

If you’ve lived with depression or anxiety, medication might be an option, even while you’re pregnant. Research shows there are several safe psychotropic medications to take during pregnancy (these drugs affect brain activity to impact mood, thoughts, emotions, and behavior). 

Your doctor can help you weigh the risks vs. benefits and understand which medications are OK to take. For example, they may discuss the safety of Lexapro during pregnancy or Zoloft and pregnancy as two viable options to support your mental health while you’re expecting. Talk openly with your doctor or a mental health professional about your symptoms, feelings, options, and concerns. 

Support groups

Finding a support group to connect with can offer incredible benefits and healing. Both online and in-person groups are available and can be a safe space where you can share your feelings and experiences. Research shows that learning from others who understand what you’re going through or who’ve faced similar difficulties during pregnancy is highly effective. 

Self care plan

Creating (and sticking to) a self-care routine is an excellent way to manage stress during pregnancy, along with anxiety, depression, and unhealthy thought patterns. Prioritizing your well-being isn’t selfish. It’s critical for your mental and physical well-being. 

Effective ways to take care of yourself when pregnant include:

• Mindfulness practices
• Gentle exercise
• Going for a walk
• Being in nature
• Engaging in activities you enjoy
• Getting enough sleep
• Eating healthy

Support Is Within Reach

If you’re having suicidal thoughts during pregnancy​, you’re in distress. You haven’t failed yourself, your family, your partner, or your baby. You just need help, and it’s available to you. The most important thing you can do is ask for it. 

Effective treatment is available, and it can change your life for the better. Talkspace offers access to licensed therapists who are trained in perinatal mental health.  

You don’t have to try to go through this alone. Help is here and ready for you. Whether you use Talkspace or seek it elsewhere, resources are available to support you through suicidal ideations while pregnant. Get started with online therapy today.

If you’re in immediate danger, call or text 988 now.