How to Identify and Respond to Microaggressions at Work

Dealing with microaggressions at work can be confusing, painful, and exhausting. If you’ve ever felt unsettled about a “harmless” comment or replayed a subtle slight from a fellow employee over in your mind, you understand the emotional and psychological toll microaggressions can have. Intentional or not, these moments can chip away at your sense of safety and confidence. Research shows microaggressions can be just as harmful as more overt forms of discrimination. 

Too often, microaggressions in the workplace go unaddressed, leaving you to wonder if you’re just being too sensitive or overreacting. Knowing how to deal with them and how to respond safely will be beneficial for your mental health. 

Continue reading to learn how to effectively advocate for yourself and address work-related microaggressions. 

Common Workplace Microaggressions

It can be difficult to recognize microaggressions at work, especially since they’re often subtle and are easily brushed off by other people. You might have even laughed at a joke that stung, or shrugged off a comment about your gender, background, or appearance. Yet, these comments can ultimately cause real harm. You might recognize some of the following signs and examples of microaggressions in your own life. 

Racial and ethnic microaggressions

Maybe you’ve gotten questions like “Where are you really from?” Or you received a compliment that just doesn’t sit right, like “Wow, you’re so articulate.” You may have heard comments about your hair, accent, skin tone, or culture that seem more like a slight than genuine interest. These often go unnoticed, but they usually reflect harmful stereotypes and racial bias. They can leave you feeling like you’re an outsider, no matter how long you’ve been a part of “the team,” resulting in long-term racial trauma at work.

Example of racial and ethnic microaggressions

You’re in your weekly team meeting, and your colleague (who you’re not really close to but have worked with for a long time) mispronounces your name…again. You’ve already corrected them multiple times in the past, and you do so again now. Later, someone else asks you if English is your first language, even though you grew up in the same city. You might feel like you’re watched more closely than some of your coworkers, or have an experience where you were excluded from a big project. Your ideas often seem to be overlooked or attributed to another team member. 

Each of these experiences—known as tone-policing, over-surveillance, or exclusion—is a form of microaggression and racial discrimination that can make you feel unfairly judged or invisible at work. 

Gender-based microaggressions

The challenges women face in the workplace, along with the challenges faced by trans and nonbinary individuals, often fall under the category of microaggressions. If you’re a woman or you identify as trans or nonbinary, you might be talked over in meetings. You may be assigned note-taking duties or party-planning jobs by default. Maybe you’ve been told you’re “too emotional” when you’re just expressing a (valid) concern. Your male boss might be guilty of “mansplaining” things to you…even when they’re in your area of expertise. Or, you might recall having your competence questioned by coworkers or your employer just because of your gender or identity. 

Example of gender-based microaggressions

You’re the lead on a project, but every time a decision is made, your input is ignored…until a male colleague offers the same idea, and it’s welcomed. As the only female in the room, you’re asked to organize lunch for the entire team, even though it’s not your job. 

If you’re trans or nonbinary, microaggressions can include being misgendered, asked inappropriate questions about your body, or having your pronoun preference dismissed. 

These experiences can make you feel undervalued, unseen, and pressured to conform to others’ expectations.

LGBTQIA+ microaggressions

Research done by McKinsey & Company found that nearly a third of LGBTQIA+ employees surveyed experience work microaggressions. The rates were even higher for LGBTQIA+ women and trans employees. 

Being part of the LGBTQIA+ community means you might hear microaggressions at work that sound like “You don’t look gay” or you might endure pronoun and relationship jokes at the office. You may often encounter questions that feel invasive and hurtful to your lifestyle or relationship. Or perhaps you realize that office talk generally assumes everyone is straight. 

Example of LGBTQIA+ microaggressions

In the middle of a team lunch, after assuming your orientation, someone asks you if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. You’re continuously asked about your pronouns by a coworker who wants an explanation “why” or tells you “it’s too hard to remember.” 

These types of subtle erasures and assumptions that everyone in the workplace is heterosexual can be isolating. They can also make you feel pressured to hide or downplay your true identity. 

Disability and mental health microaggressions

Living with a disability, whether it’s visible or invisible, can pose challenges at work when you encounter ableist views and actions. You might have heard comments like “You don’t look disabled—what do you have?” Some coworkers might dismiss your accessibility needs or label them as “special treatment.” Maybe you’ve been pressured to share personal details about your medical history, without regard to what you’re comfortable disclosing. It’s possible your neurodivergence was trivialized as you just being a “quirky” person. 

Example of disability microaggressions

You were excluded from a team outing because it was just assumed that you couldn’t or wouldn’t participate, except no one bothered to ask you. You also find yourself repeatedly explaining why you need accommodations. 

The stigma that still exists today surrounding mental health, disabilities, and neurodivergence can make it hard to ask for support. It’s also been proven to be damaging in studies. The experience can leave you feeling very alone and misunderstood at work.  

“It can be hard to identify whether or not what a person is experiencing is a microaggression. However, it’s largely about trusting your gut or intuition. If you feel uncomfortable about the statement or comment that was made, ask yourself why it’s bothering you? Even if it came off as a “joke,” it still made you uncomfortable. You know yourself best, and can tell if something was wrong. It’s easy to let it go but even if it wasn’t meant to be hurtful, it was to you. No one will advocate for you if you don’t for yourself first.”

– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

What it Feels Like to Be on the Receiving End of Microaggressions

If you’ve experienced any type of microaggression at work, it’s natural to have a range of reactions. It would be understandable if you felt anxiety at work before meetings or dread interacting with certain colleagues. The shame you feel can linger long after the moment passes, too. 

Microaggressions can cause you to question your abilities and make you feel like an impostor, leading you to wonder if you truly belong. Over time, you might become angry, confused, or numb about how you’re being treated. 

We know that repeated microaggressions can erode your self-esteem and sense of safety. It can lead to everything from burnout to low job satisfaction. Research shows they can result in a host of mental and physical health issues, including:

• Increased stress levels
• High blood pressure
• Gastrointestinal problems
• Sleeping issues
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
• Substance use disorder

It’s normal to second-guess your feelings—whether this is your first microaggression or just the latest of many. You might replay conversations and wonder if you’re just being too sensitive. It’s important for you to know: you’re not overreacting. What you feel matters, and your feelings are more than valid. 

“The very definition of microaggressions is that the statement/comments are subtle but repeated. So it’s more like chipping away at the person as opposed to macroaggressions that are in your face and direct. We know how to combat macroaggressions, but with microaggressions, it becomes more difficult to address because it isn’t clear if it’s intentional or unintentional. So the chipping starts to become more draining rather than one powerful push to address the issue.”

– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

How to Respond to Microaggressions at Work

As frustrating as it can be to deal with microaggressions in the workplace, there are a number of strategies you can use to respond to offenders. The most effective approach will depend on the situation, timing, and your desired reaction. 

In the moment

If you’re face-to-face with someone and feel safe, you can use any of the following statements to address their microaggression in the moment. 

• Can you help me understand what you meant by that?
• That comment didn’t sit right with me.
• Can we avoid comments like that in the future?
• This is making me feel uncomfortable. Can we talk about what you mean?
• I’m not sure you realized how hurtful that type of statement is to me. 

If you want to address microaggressive behavior but aren’t quite comfortable confronting it head-on, there are other ways to respond. For example, you can also use grounding tools. Pausing, taking a deep breath, and redirecting the conversation are options. 

“When the discomfort of microaggressions becomes too much or taxing on us, there are ways to help us refocus our thoughts and emotions to help us not be aggressive but assertive in communicating boundaries. Taking a step back and doing some deep breathing exercises (i.e. box breathing, lazy 8 breathing) helps us to take the distance and breath we need to communicate effectively. Leaning on your support system is also helpful in managing our emotions during these times.”

– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

You always have the right to stay silent in these situations, too. Self-protection is a valid response to microaggressions. You don’t owe anyone a response, particularly if you’re concerned for your safety. 

After the fact

Sometimes, you might need a minute to process what just happened. It’s perfectly OK if you need to reflect on the experience. Either way, it’s a good idea to document incidents, even if it’s just for your own clarity. Writing down what happened can help if you start to notice patterns in the behaviors you’re witnessing. 

You may want to speak with someone you trust, such as a colleague, mentor, or therapist. Debriefing can help you put things in perspective in case you ever decide to revisit the conversation later, whether in person or via email. 

If you decide to bring it up at a later date but aren’t sure what to say, the following prompts can guide the conversation. 

• I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier, and I want to let you know that something didn’t sit well with me.
• Regarding what happened in the meeting yesterday, a comment you made left me feeling very uncomfortable. I want to share my feelings about it.
• I would like to follow up on an incident that occurred earlier. I was hurt by a remark you made, and I think it’s important for us to talk about it.
• I wasn’t sure how to react in the moment, but I want to talk about what was said earlier and share how it affected me.
• I was hoping to get your support as I process what happened earlier. I’m still figuring out how I want to address it.

You don’t owe anyone anything. If you decide to address how their comments made you feel, that’s your right, but it’s not your job to educate people. Your energy is yours to protect, and you shouldn’t feel bad if you decide not to confront people for their behavior. 

If you decide to escalate

Microaggressions can be part of a larger, toxic environment. If that’s the case, you should know that you can’t fix an entire broken system on your own. You can bring your issue to HR or leadership for resolution. Before you do, though, make sure you have a clear understanding of what happened, when it happened, and how it made you feel. If you’ve noticed patterns, make sure to track and share them. Framing your concern in terms of patterns can strengthen your case. 

You can mention things like:

• I’ve noticed a pattern that seems to be affecting multiple team members, and I want to bring it to your attention. 
• I’ve documented several incidents, and I was hoping to share how they’ve impacted me.  
• I’m reaching out because I need help addressing the microaggressions I’ve been experiencing. These incidents are affecting my well-being and my ability to do my job effectively. 
• I’d like to formally report the following interactions that I feel have crossed a line.  
• Can we discuss some concerns I have about the workplace culture that’s developed here? I think there are some things that need to be addressed. 

Remember: You don’t have to fix the system yourself. 

Protecting Your Peace and Mental Health

Any time you’re hurt by microaggressions in the workplace, it’s natural to have an emotional response. Anger, sadness, numbness, and fear are normal responses to the subtle slights that microaggressions cause. Regardless of whether you speak up, self-care is essential when facing microaggressions. 

Strategies to protect your peace and your mental health:

• Practice grounding techniques for anxiety: Deep breathing exercises for anxiety or mindfulness can calm your nervous system after a stressful interaction.
• Set boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries can prevent people from depleting your energy.
• Find support: Connect with peer support groups or networks to share experiences and find solidarity.
• Get professional help: Seek therapy or counseling from a mental health professional who understands the harmful impact of workplace microaggressions. Therapy can be a powerful tool for regaining your peace. 
• Take breaks: Be sure to take breaks when needed and prioritize activities that restore your sense of self and bring you joy.
• Give yourself validation: Remember that your experience is real and you deserve respect and support.

“As is common with many workplace stressors, it is important to make sure a healthy work/life balance is maintained. The ability to take the time needed to ‘recover’ from the work week and engage in healthy self-care activities is important to managing some of the stressors that come along with dealing with workplace microaggressions. Engaging in the support system one has or getting involved in a hobby that is enjoyable, or even a cause that allows you to grow your support system community, are helpful ways to ‘recover’ from the work week. Therapy is also a great option to help manage the working environment but also learn how to build healthy boundaries, work on assertive communication tools, and other issues that may be related to the impact of the workplace environment.”

– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

You Deserve Support—and You’re Not Alone

Mental health support isn’t just about coping; it’s about thriving. It’s a powerful way for you to regain peace and build resilience, so you can effectively address microaggressions in the workplace. 

Microaggressions are real and harmful, and what you’re experiencing isn’t all in your head. Know that you don’t have to deal with the emotional toll this is taking on you by yourself. There is hope, and Talkspace can be your resource for continued support and healing if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Online therapy can help you process your experiences so you can find a path toward healing. 

If you’re ready to take that step, get started today with a culturally sensitive therapist from Talkspace today.